My dearest Baby Man,
I counted today how many days I had to live without you. I was astounded to find that I had lived for 451 days without you in my arms. I spent all 451 of those days with you in my heart and on my mind every second of every day. My dearest little nugget, I miss you like the sky misses the sun. Until we meet again my sweet cheeks, keep our spots warm for us. We love you.
This year, I will be participating in Capture Your Grief, a photo journal of sorts that CarlyMarie (famous in the baby loss world) puts on every year. Last year, I didn’t quite have the gumption in me to complete the tasks, but this year I am going to give it the good old college try. Today, October 1st was to take a picture of the sunrise. While I was up early enough to capture a picture of a sunrise, I decided not to. Instead, as I drove to my mother’s house out in the country, I thought about my sweet little man, and how I was so proud of all the decisions I made regarding his life. I also thought about my desire for a rainbow baby. I was ready to be a mom before, and I am more than ready to be a mom again.
For more information, please visit http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/2014/09/capture-your-grief-2014.html. I take no credit for any of her artwork, nor anything she puts on her website or social media. She has been an immense help to me over the last year, and I highly recommend visiting her sites.
Thanks for reading.