I still remember my first Mother’s Day…2014, just a mere 10 months after my son passed away. I had to work that day, and since I work with a bunch of women, all of whom are mothers, there was a lot of well wishing going on that day. The one and only time I received a Happy Mother’s Day that day was from a coworker, whose exact words to me were “Oh yeah, Happy Mother’s Day to you too, I guess.” Now, to this day I’m not sure if it was my Mama heart that was hurting from not having my baby, but that statement bothered me so much.
But she’s right…I’m not really a mom. Sure, I was pregnant, and delivered a baby, but I don’t know about the sleepless nights, the feedings, temper tantrums, changing diapers, nothing. I’m a mom in my own heart, and mind, but not your typical mom.
That is when I discovered International Bereaved Mother’s Day. It’s a relatively new thing, it was founded in 2010 as a way for the grieving Mamas of the world to come together and honor their babies, because once you are a mother, for however short of a period of time, you cannot have that title taken from you. This holiday has helped me realize that although I didn’t parent my son in the traditional sense, I am still his mother. For all 6 days of his life, I didn’t sleep when I was at home, I worried because my little guy was in the NICU. I was going to have to learn how to change his feeding tube, I was going to start changing diapers when he was stable enough. I am and will forever be his mommy.
So, to all my fellow angel Mom’s…Happy Mother’s Day. While our community is together for such sad reasons, I’m happy to be a member of a strong group of women who should be supported each and every day.